About a week ago i poured out my heart as all i could think of is suicide. One Night last week i was playing russian roullete due to financial strain and no job. While i was busy in my mind i was wondering if i would actually hear the bang.
It was a very dark night for me and all i wanted was to give up and die. Suicide was top of mind and i didn't care about the consequences.
I met a friend Nancie on the prayer request who we became friends and chat daily since then and helped me with some food .
Went to church and the pastor also helped me, prayed on me and made me stronger.
Today my sworn enemy reared his head, where two days ago we both lost it, it has happened a few times.
Today he tried to do it again. I told him we can go to the park where we live and have a fight as this is what we have been swearing at each other that we would do to each other. It eats u up.
He then told me he's son 21 years old died last year, his mom 3 weeks ago and he is broken and we spoke. I hugged him and said i will get the pastor to help him as he has nobody and God helped us both to be humble and forgiving.
2ndly some one approached me to make quick money, immoral but legal. My walk with God is getting stronger and I just cant go back again. It helps me financially even though i have know job.i will pray on it. The money will come through twice a week, but against Gods will.