Good morning...
As today finds me feeling melancholy I have only one thing to ask of you; that you continue to pray that I hear the words of our savior in all things concerning my life and my life's direction. I don't know what it is; however, the last few days have found me in some sort of depression for lack of a better word. Maybe that is the right word who knows. All I know is that I am feeling out of sorts, a bit lost even and although i would love to say that I do not know why; I cannot, for it would be a lie.
Due to my state of being and my lack of energy I must confess some truths if I am to come back into the peace and harmony God has blessed my life with. first off i have to confess that i haven't been in the word as I should. I am aware that Gods word feeds my soul and nourishes me, brings me life and fills me with possibilities; yet I have allowed other things to get in the way of my daily worship through the reading and absorbing of his incredible truths. second, I have to admit that I haven't even allowed myself the peace and serenity that comes with listening to praise and worship songs, so my soul is also not being feed.
I think i have stepped into an old habit of hiding within myself. you see I find myself at a time in my life where God has and is so very good to me. he has brought many things to a close in my life and he has opened up so many doors. My life is the best it has been in all the 48years I have been breathing Gods excellant air, and yet I sit here unable to feel the happiness i desire. I believe this is from many years of waiting for the previable ball to drop and introduce to me 'some more bad news.' I believe I am feeling melancholy and/or out of sorts because a part of my conscience is waiting for the bad news that always comes; however, I know in my heart and in my mind that my God has a hold of me and of my future, I know that he has a plan for me to prosper and never to fail, to be the beginning and never the end and to be the lender that i am and never become the borrower again.
I think sometimes we have to check ourselves to make sure we are not setting self up to incounter a fall. I believe that's what i was doing. I was allowing my old thoughts and behaviors to seep in and take over. I was stepping out of the way for the old me to resume her place in the midst of the confusion and turmoil that has had reign in my life.
It is my time to check myself and even as I confess these truths I am feeling better and more sure of the woman God has brought me to be. In Jesus name i rebuke all spirits that are not of God. In the power of my KIng Jesus I command that all spirits not of God be thrown into the lake of fire to burn for enernity. I am victorious in the name of my savior and everything God has for me to do will be complete before I leave this beautiful earth. God is my Father and I believe in him and have faith in everything his word tells me about who i am. I am a winner because my God said so.
Please continue to pray my strength in our Lord so that I may continue to recognize these attacks of the enemy and place them in the hands of my God. for the battle is not mines it belongs to him...Amen...thank you so much