I am 37 years old and have been married for 10 years. My husband was a wonderful man before he went to Iraq with his Army Reserve Unit in 2002; We were just newly weds. I know he saw and went through a lot while there. I tried to be a strong woman and wife on the home front while trying to keep his spirits up as well. I took good care of his children from a previous marriage. He came home a forever changed man in 2003. I adopted his children as my own soon after he returned home because I had been their mom since the day I met them. I took on that role on my own choice. I had cancer when I was younger and radiatiaon treatment and thought I would never be able to have chidren of my own. That damn war robbed me of my marriage, and the man I knew as my husband. Our marriage has been miserable ever since. I always thought God put me into their lives for a purpose. But since he has been home, my husband has been emotionally unavilable to me and numb. I wanted to give up on our marriage at time but I always stayed. I thought one day my prayers would prevail, and I would be given the happy, loving, connected marriage back I once had. But, it is not to happen. My husband called me at work one day and shattered my heart and my world by telling me he wanted a divorce. This is by far the hardest thing I have ever gone through. It feels like a death and it feels like part of me is dying, too. Along these years my husband has told me all kinds of terrible things, but we both have made mistakes. I put up so many walls to protect myself and I am just now realizing how depressed I was because of my marriage and what it no longer was and what, no matter how hard I tried, I could not make it be on my own. My husband was once a compassionate man, but after he came back it seemed like he lost a lot of himself. And, for the most part he didn't treat me badly but he didn't treat me well either. He took me and all I did for him for granted. And, it was like I was just there. His standards were double, and he could not give me back what he wanted from me. I pray that God will open his heart to what he is missing out on and heal mine for it was already fragile.