Hello prayer warriors. I have extremely bad anxiety and depression from before my boy blessed me to be his mother 18m ago. I come today to help ease my mind of financial woes 🥺 praying that God is on my side 🙏🏽
I had become a single mother almost immediately after Ezekiel was born, realizing his dad was hiding his meth addiction from me, and even pretty sure he was doing it once baby arrived, not even a day old, when he went out for a "smoke" while I lay there in the hospital wondering why he's been gone so long. (I have such a forgiving heart idk why I still allow him around whenever he decides to contact us. ) Anyways I had a job interview Oct 2019, with a company that understood and wanted to help working mothers. I told them baby's only Half a year but I'd love to come to work in the new year, they completely agreed and said they'd contact me in the new year and.... March2020 happened :/ lockdown BB edited my babys 1st birthday 🥺. So yes I applied for the cerb, thinking I qualified because my interview. Now I'm extremely worried about next year since I received an email stating I did not qualify. Now my dad is willing to help.since he went to Indian say school but it's been 2yrs since he started to fill out forms and nothing yet. I'm so worried they cut off baby's monthly money from me it's our only source of ii ncome for him. I'm prepared for the worst but really hurts to think about. I'd feel like a failure of a mother if that happened. With the money that I recieved I got my baby and our every need with it. Since we moved out on our own away from my parents who are practically chain smokers, we couldn't be there any more. But thanks to whom ever took the time to read, god bless you and take care 🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽

I'm trying my best keeping up with my baby's needs. I feel like a failure since he's been sick on and off since last Sept. Now I fell behind when we both were sick in December. But now I find marks that look like bites and the caregiver in my building says it can be fleas. He started having them after we came from this parents group where I thought it was an allergy but drs say it should clear up. And just tonight I found a flea on my sock 😭 it's just so devastating as I'm already worried about my upkeep and having to sanitize everything since he has thrush in his mouth. It just never ends I can't sleep thinking about it all I just want a happy clean organized home is that so much to ask for. I was almost settled in from moving in last month now I feel like I have to take ten steps back and pack everything up. I'm sad because I try so hard. I can barely get anything done since baby needs my comfort at night and my attention all day he wants to help me too so I get distracted by distracting him and it really never ends. Pls lord rid our home from these pesky creatures and let it be the only one flea. What's even worse is it could be from my sister or my mom since they have cats and even more sad that it's hard to keep up with their health. A dying old cat princess, one kitty was fixed after having a life threatening surgery now the other one is in heat. My sister kitty is having issues too with his bowl. They all sleep all day like cats seriously saddening I pray they find the energy and motivation to be in good health themselves. So many ppl dying my heart aches thinking about it. I think too much and should trust in God. I take every action as a sign as to what should be happening in life. Like if we have a flea problem with no pets or baby being sick am I beng a bad parent not paying enough attention to my boy. Idk I do what I can but feel like I can always do more. Thanks for reading and praying with me. This only one of the things meddling in my mind. My baby's father is killing himself slowly I pray the plan his fam want to set get in motion and he goes back home to clean his life up so he can be the father my son needs. He's all methd up with poor health as well. Scabs on his face living in a parking lot pls touch him with your love God and show him he is loved and to love himself. Thank you

As My son is grows older he's becoming more of a handful. As a single mother I've been struggling. Just lately as he's been sick so extra needy and whiny. It's so hard not be flustered at times I need help to find peace and patience. I know I am forever blessed with the child you have gifted me with please help me manage my moods so I be the best mother I can be I don't baby to think I'm mad at him when I'm mad at myself. I would love a partner but they are so much work and effort for heartbreak. I can't trust another man again. I trust in you though that if the time comes there will be someone there for me the way I need them to be. With that being said I'd like to pray for my son Ezekiels Father lost in his addictions still. I thought I was going to finally do right by you and marry this man but I know that it's just not that easy. I trust whatever path your throwing at me is what I need. And I highly believe all to well that everything happens for a reason. I miss my sister 2 yrs now without her idk who I am anymore. I sure am not what I used to be. I miss my friends and I miss being loved. I would love for a daughter someday and I ask that in your blessings. I ask for strength and patience along the way. Help me become who I want to be. I'd like to pray for my mother and father sister and brother as they struggle with their own health and lifestyle. Strengthen my mother so she can be the amazing grandma she has been and help them get up early and go out more. In this I pray.
Amen