I'm praying for you. I know exactly how you might feel. Similar past and extremely cautious about it now. I got older and just wanted start again. You always have the option to walk away. I was anxious but relieved when I just started stating my truer feelings and expectations known. Of course... at 60, I finally moved to a scary new state and after a year, Realize where God was pushing me while I prayed. It was the last and now would be the first thing when times are out of control. Keep listening when you pray. I seriously make enough with nothing and Gods blessings. But I have choices and freedoms.

Final thought... I thought I was going crazy until I lost it all one day and was wanting to quit and walk away. The moment I gave away something I needed badly, I felt a great spiritual relief. I HAD NOTHING LEFT TO LOSE BUT.... EVERYTHING LEFT TO GAIN. Mine is about finances, and giving personal time.

If anything you involve yourself with does not Bless you with their permission or them with yours.... Let it go. Sometimes there is no place and time for family. You're stuck with them. Choose different or better friends. Life is too short for Stupid, Let it go, walk away. Take the word of God and his spirit with you. Be a Better attraction to those around you. Be WHO God made you to be. $$ is a tool. that's all. It gets things done. Don't just break or give them away.

There are too many people places, and things to do with your life. There are others to meet along the way. ASK, LISTEN, TRUST, HAVE FAITH.

BE BLESSED

You have a big heart. A person like you have a hard time saying no. You want to help them all. That's your heart. We put others needs before ours. The hardest is to say no. I know because I am like you. Pray for knowledge and wisdom from the Lord. Let him guide you.