After almost 10yrs, my boyfriend & I broke up. I moved out of the house my 2sons & I were renting & into his house after a couple yrs. Never thought about what my sons& I were going to do in the event of a breakup! :( Live n learn, I guess. At 42, I had no other choice but to move in w/my mom, who lives in a small town almost 3hours away from the city I grew up in. We've been here for 6 mo's now. I have no vehicle, can't find a job, & other than my mom, only know my sis& her hubby, &my dad--none of whom I see or speak to often. Mom does take me where i need to go, but this town is VERY small & theres NOTHING to do except go to Walmart!! A month after we moved in however, I had a stray kitten come up to me while I was on back porch one pm. My mom adamantly refused to allow an animal in her house, so I would go outside (IN KY IN JAN-vry cold)&sit on porch w/him in my lap, w/blankets completely covering us, for 1 1/2- 2hours every night for a wk til mom finally agreed to let me keep him! I was so happy. We named him Butters & all fell in love w/him, but its way deeper than that for me. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH & HE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. He loves us all, but he follows me all around the house & knows I'm his mommy. When i go to restroom, he gets up, follows behind me, then lays on my feet til I get up. He sleeps w/me every pm. I honestly thought God had sent me this kitten to combat the depression that had crippled me since moving. However, Fri May 24, Butters never came back home after being let out. He goes in &out many times every day & I always make sure he's in by dark. He loves his new family & is very spoiled & happy, however, he still didnt come back home. I'M DEVASTATED!!! PAIN LIKE IVE NEVER FELT FOR ANY OF MY OTHER PETS, some of whom I'd had for 10+ yrs when I lost them! I've looked everywhere, having walked probably 20-30 miles in the past 3 days!!! I'M SO DEPRESSED & FEEL BETRAYED!!! I DONT UNDERSTAND WHY GOD WOULD GIVE HIM TO ME, LEMME GET SO ATTACHED, & THEN TAKE THE ONLY FRIEND I HAVE DOWN HERE!!!! I'M CRIPPLED W/SADNESS & I ADMIT, ANGER!!! PLEASE PRAY THAT BUTTERS MAKES IT BACK TO OUR FAMILY SAFE & UNHARMED & PLEASE PRAY FOR ME THAT I HAVE STRENGTH AND AM ABLE TO GET THROUGH THIS HORRIFICALLY PAINFUL TIME, & AM ABLE TO ACCEPT WHATEVER GOD'S PLAN IS REGARDING BUTTERS BEING RETURNED TO MY LIFE & BACK TO OUR FAMILY!!!

Please help me to get off of the narcotics that I've been dependent on since the car wreck--almost 4yrs ago. Im trying so hard, but this, Dear Lord, is by far, the hardest thing I've ever done in my life. I need Your help Lord. I love you Dear Lord, Amen.