Pray for strength and recovery after spinal surgery last Monday. The doctor says I am doing well, but I had a rough few days in the ICU and had to be kept in the hospital longer than anticipated as I didn't feel strong enough to go home right away. Still having pain and feeling tired. My Grandmother lives with us and is across the hall from my bedroom, last night she fell out of bed and was screaming for help and I had to use all my limited strength to go get help for her from my Mom would wouldn;t answer her phone when I called so it put a lot of strain on me, just about a week out of surgery to push myself to help someone else. I should be resting and not overexerting myself, but now I'm anxious and sleep deprived and hurting a lot. Pray that my family will come together and take care of what needs to be done so it takes the weight off my shoulders. I need care and help too.

Going in for spinal surgery on Monday morning for three bad discs in my neck that have adversely been affecting my life for years now, preventing me from working a full time job, lifting, bending, driving. I can't turn my neck to the left at all. I finally found a doctor who could see the problems I was having and has scheduled me for surgery on the 19th. I'm really scared, but at the same time I am relieved I might actually have a chance to resume a normal life and go back to Grad school without constant chronic pain. Despite all my issues, I am still primary caretaker for my 68 year old mother, who has been hospitalized on and off for the past 5 years with numerous health problems, and 86 year old grandmother and now that I will be down for at least 6 weeks, I'm worried things in my household will go awry and there will be fighting because I won't be able to help out with the things I usually do. I always give of myself. Now I need some of it back. The dynamics in my household have always been off kilter, especially when there's an illness. Pray for peace and stability. Pray the surgery goes well. Pray that my friends and family who have abandoned me over the past year for being too whiny and needy will come back to my side again and support me when I need it most. I have been angry at God for all the bad stuff that has happened in my life and I just want a little happiness and relief for once.

I am asking for prayers for my friend Elizabeth, who underwent brain surgery on Tuesday morning to correct her seizures. It was supposed to be a minor surgery with only a 3 day hospital stay, but an artery ruptured and now she's in a coma in the ICU at Cedar-Sinai. The doctors are saying she might not come out of this and if she does, she'll have extensive brain damage from the blood loss to her brain. The bleeding has stopped and they are attempting to drain the fluid pooling in the back of her skull, but are saying it still does not look good. I know the odds are stacked against her, but I am praying for a miracle that she will pull through. Beautiful child of God, always with a smile on her face, never a bad thought about anyone. She doesn't deserve this.

I am trying to get a job right now. I applied for a really good one last week and I'm hoping this will be the one. 5 years since I graduated from college and I haven't been able to find a decent job. Dealing with arthritis and neck pain. Might need surgery. Having anxiety and sleepless nights.