This may help You!
https://www.lookingforgod.com/questions-and-answers/category/89/question/615/

Amen

Aphro , I also suffer depression and have felt the need to leave this world but for whatever have resisted tbe temptation to act.I pray for you as I also pray for self and others. Whether its Love ,Monwy or lost loved ones ,One must dig deep sometimes and move onto things that keep ones mind either distracted or motivated to let tbe dark feelings pass.
*May god grant you the Serenity to accept the things you cannot change ,The Courage to change the things you can & the wisdom to know the difference*. AMEN beautiful lady !