Well I can't go to TX as planned... Lord, I keep having the dreams of Heidi, its been a bit over 20 yrs.. and Alex, I've tried to forgive myself but I guess I just don't know how. They are not bad dreams, I guess.. I just have so MUCH I have been carrying and I don't think I can anymore. I miss my daughter, my family in TX and I just want to be forgiven by everyone who thinks I did something wrong. Because of rumors etc, Lord give me strength.