Well I can't go to TX as planned... Lord, I keep having the dreams of Heidi, its been a bit over 20 yrs.. and Alex, I've tried to forgive myself but I guess I just don't know how. They are not bad dreams, I guess.. I just have so MUCH I have been carrying and I don't think I can anymore. I miss my daughter, my family in TX and I just want to be forgiven by everyone who thinks I did something wrong. Because of rumors etc, Lord give me strength.

Lord, I ask you to give me the courage and wisdom I need when I go to TX. Lord, you know what is in my heart.. I can't see my children hurt anymore because of their sister's hurtful words. I ask you to help me show my daughter in TX what she is doing... and also help me to love her more... I'm torn, but I know only you can help me. Amen