dear god i've been really sad for the past few weeks of my life,my summer isnt turning out as well as i thought it would be....im not having any fun at all,idk why but today i had locked myself in my room the whole day,crying to myself..i feel like i've done something so bad in my past,that its catching up to me...i had an ex bf,and we both had a alot that we both went through,idk how to explain it but i guess you can say a very strong relationship,and like we both went through so much together in the past,but i did something horrible to him and now i realize how much i actually love him, and wanting him back.... idk if its called"love",but like ever since we broke up,i've stopped dating,and i stopped wanting to get in a relationship with any other guys who talks to me,or asks me out...i stopped flirting with other guys,i stopped doing all these old habits that i use to do,i dnt really eat much anymore...im not myself anymore..idk but god please forgive me and help me get through this pain...and i really miss him alot,but its not like we're ever gona get back together...idk but god watever you have planned for me,i'll be ready! and god please keep him safe,and please always let him know that i am always thinking and missing him alot! AMEN!