Please pray for me...

I've been struggling in my faith for the past 3 years. Mainly because of how my father was a God fearing man who was abused mentally and neglected by my mom after he needed spine surgery... as a result he died unexpectedly. It was and still hard to deal with because I wasn't living In the same country to be there for him. My mother and oldest sister have not spoken to me since... they didn't even tell me that my father died. I had to find out from my brother. I'm married now and struggling with the grief and anger. I'm praying to get to a place of forgiveness. I keep praying but I feel like there is something blocking me.

I also want to forgive to feel a sense of peace. I want to start my own family - break the cycle, start a business, so I can afford to buy a home since i don't have support from family. I pray for clarity, wisdom, strength, creativity, direction, financial stability, abundance, to e surrounded and aligned with the right connections, motivation (I'm depressed so I really struggle with motivation) , mental and physical health and most importantly forgiveness... to forgive myself for not being there for my father and to also forgive the hurt and disappointing feelings I have towards my mother and sister.