I understand your pain all to well as I am going through the exact same thing. I feel like God does not hear me and because there are so many other major crises going on in the world my plight is not important and has fallen on deaf ears. I do try to keep a positive mindframe but the road to healing and redemption is overwhelming and horrendous. I pray for you and pray that true Godsent love will find you and revive the beauty and love you so rightfully deserve.