I am writing to you because I need spiritual help solving a break up with my fiance. I have a chemical imbalance known as shizoaffective disorder. In 2006, I suffered a major breakdown and relapsed again in 2007. I got really depressed in college when I proposed to a boy that I knew from school. I did not marry him since he did not have feelings towards me whatsoever. A few weeks after I came out of the hospital in 2007, I started dating my current fiance Axar. I proposed to him in April, 2010 and we have been engaged until now. I have difficulty with feelings of being too emotional, sensitive, and phobic of a lot of things and my life is very difficult to manage. I found a church in Oakland which greatly helped me in my recovery as well as my relationship with Axar and his family who financially provides for me and my condition due to the fact that my family has been struggling. I was baptized a second time when I came from the hospital. I believe I have been spiritually attacked and Axar as well as his parents are atheists. I understand that it can also be a difficult match for the fact that I truly believe I am a true believer of God. Often, our miscomunication leads to arguments in which I feel he does not listen to me and ignores my medical condition. I have not been able to see a psychiatrist in almost a year without enough medication for my severe mental disability which Axar usually helps me with. I feel I have a strong relationship with God which is why I feel that I am experiencing these changes in my life. I cannot stop feeling tortured spiritually and emotionally when I argue with him because he disagrees with a lot of things I say. I am scared that I'm going to be left alone again and face another situation in which I wanted to get married. I feel that I am ready for marriage because I believe strongly that I love him. He has been breaking up with me since I've proposed to him in April last year. Also, there is a lot of jealousy surrounding me. I understand it may be difficult for God to bless us since Axar will not open the door to Him, so I feel this was coming and going to happen. I have a strong bond with Axar but cannot remain just friends. I would really like to get along with him if his intentions are good for me. I asked for advice from his mom and she said she does not want me to get married. I do not want pressure from his mom affecting Axar because I fear since he is the only child and a boy that they are very protective of him. I really want for them to accept me the way I am now and allow Axar and I to make this decision for ourselves. I believe his mom had influence in his decision although he might also disagree. My family is very pure and we are good folk but I feel his family thinks little of me because I cannot find work in 4 years. I really need your help and anyone who can help me. I can't fall again and Im scared and sad too much. This is obviously wrong too. Please pray for me that I am able to be touched by the
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