Please pray for me. I feel like I've waited all I can for God to deliver me from depression and it's been 20 years and despite my seeking Him, it's only gotten worse. I'm feeling very hopeless and I'm too discouraged to try and make myself feel better because it isn't working anymore. Nothing matters. I have never gotten an answer despite my persistence. I'm doubting God's love. I'm doubting God's goodness and faithfulness. I want to believe He keeps His promises and maybe He does to everyone else but not to me. It's been far too long. I've waited far too long. God made me to hurt me. God's goodness and mercy are nothing but pain and disappointment. He doesn't love me though I've tried to get Him to notice me. I'm only still alive because I'm afraid if I kill myself I will go to hell. I am starting to think I'm going there regardless because He meant for this to be too much for me to handle even though He says He won't do that. He doesn't love me. I'm praying God will give me a reason to stay here before it's too late. It's almost too late. I don't think I will last another year.