I really miss my dog, Ellie. She was with me 14 years. It's been months but I still can't get over it.

PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. I DON'T WANT TO KILL MYSELF. THIS PAIN NEVER ENDS AND IT'S ALL I FEEL. I CAN'T SUPPRESS IT ANYMORE BUT PEOPLE HURT ME. PLEASE PRAY FOR ME. I AM NOT OK AND I FEEL REJECTED BY GOD SO MAYBE I SHOULD END IT?

Please pray for me that God would deliver me from the spirit of death. I have really strong urges to take my life and I'm finding them harder to resist. I have struggled with depression the past two decades and despite everything, it's only gotten worse. I pray to God daily and throughout the day, I say scriptures over myself, I praise and worship God, I try and do other things to help my mental health but I still feel rejected and unloved and unwanted. I don't want to be here anymore because of this constant pain I can't get away from. I have to keep it to myself because no one will understand it and I've been judged before in the past because of it so that is why I keep it to myself. Please pray for me. I am not ok. I feel like God has rejected and abandoned me. If I could just get a little help from God or this would let up just a bit, I could hold on. How I feel right now though, I don't know if I will make it through the week. I'm starting to crave death more than I fear hell and God's nowhere to be found. I never felt His love despite that being my deepest desire and He's got me believing I never will.

Please pray for me. I'm struggling with wanting to give up. I don't want to be here. I feel ugly and worthless. I feel like no one likes me. I have about a dozen things I'm anxious about. Simple things are hard for me. I feel stupid. I want to curl up and die. I ran out of my medication. I'm afraid I'll be a mess tomorrow at work. I want to seek help but then I would get fat and no one would love me ever and God maybe wouldn't help me still I don't know. Then, I would have nothing going for me. Also, I need to make money so I can survive. I can't make money if I need to get help. I hate that God made me. I wish I was never born seriously.

I'm too sensitive to what other people say about me to my face and behind my back. Please pray that God would help me understand that all I need is His approval and no one else's. Please pray that God would help me recieve His love for me. Please pray that God's will be done in my life and that I would trust Him more and not worry and learn how to give my worries to Him. Thank you and God bless you.

Please pray for me that I would want God's will to be done in my life and that I could hear God and know that it is Him speaking to me. Please pray my faith in God grows and that I would increasingly make better choices that draw me closer to Him. Please pray that my hunger for God and the things of the Spirit would grow and that God would help me put to death my old self.

Please pray for me. Growing up, I "earned" love based on what I did or didn't do. This made me feel like I have to do something in order to recieve love. I struggle with being able to recieve God's free gift or salvation because I feel so unworthy. I have prayed about it and I still don't feel saved. I want to have the faith in my salvation I recieved from Jesus dying for me that everyone else has. I worry that since I don't feel this confidence, maybe I'm not saved? I worry that Im offending God by my struggle to recieve this free gift even though I want to. I try to recieve it but I don't know how and no matter what I try, I still don't feel saved. It seems to come so easily for other people to accept their salvation it makes me wonder if God ever meant to save me. If He didn't then all this time I spent resisting the urge to take my life and battle depression has been in vain. I've had clinical depression over 20 years and nothing really helps it it has only gotten worse. I choose to stay here because I fear God and I am afraid of hell but if I am unable to recieve salvation even though I really really want to and try to, was all my efforts to stay here and resist temptation to take my life in vain? I stay here in the hopes that I will be with God some day but I don't feel saved and it's really getting to me to the point that I wonder if I was ever saved or if it's even possible for me to be saved or if God ever intended to save me. I read Scripture and I want to believe the promises are for me. I recite some over myself daily. It should be sinking in. It's not sinking in. I don't know what else to do. I am losing hope and the will to keep going. I would feel saved if God really saved me. I've never felt saved even though I want to be. If my efforts and intentions mean nothing and it's all up to God and I don't feel saved (because when people are saved, they feel saved), maybe I never was or was meant to be and I should just end my life and stop trying to convince myself otherwise. Maybe I should just listen to my gut and accept my fate. I'm heartbroken and I feel totally rejected by God because if He really wanted to, He could let me know for certain I am saved. He would know how important it is for me to know this but He doesn't so I must not be. I am looking for any type of sign or feeling anywhere to confirm my salvation but I get nothing. I can't look for ever and I'm about to give up. I mean that more than I've ever meant anything. I can't do another year of feeling like this. I am killing myself on September 6. My birthday. I promise.

Thank you to everyone who prays for me. It really makes a difference and I do feel lighter in my heart. May God richly bless each one of you because God alone knows how many times I've been at the end of my rope. I want to be delivered once and for all so I can stop coming back and asking for prayer because I really hate bothering people and mental illness is something you can't see and that just makes me want to reach out even less. Please pray that God would help me wait patiently and remain encouraged and that He would give me some sense of peace or way of knowing I will be ok or that things will be ok. I will pray for each person who prays for me. I trust God will answer all the prayers I pray over other people. He always has. I would pray for myself too but for some reason He only responds and answers other people's prayers when I pray for them. Thank you for taking the time to read this and may God bless you for your care. Prayer means so much to those of us with mental health issues because alot of times, we're being attacked spiritually and the thoughts we have coming at us aren't our own. It took me awhile to understand this and it was even more frightening before I understood what was happening. Many people who have mental illness or are under spiritual attacks don't know and when people come and ask for prayers for mental health issues, it's because prayer works. Prayer is the only thing that truly works.

May God richly bless all of you who pray for me. Most of the time I know that I'm only here still because people pray for me because the war in my mind is so bad there is no way I could still be here on my own strength. Right now, I'm really struggling again and I feel like maybe God never meant for me to be ok and that's why I haven't been fully healed yet. I want to stop asking for prayer because I feel stupid. I feel worthless for even being alive. I keep getting sick mentally or physically or both and I just wish I would die already because I'm worthless to even be alive when I'm sick. I want to just curl up and end my life and if it were ok with God, I would. I am so frustrated that I can't heal myself no matter how much I rest and or what I try to do to help myself. Everything takes too long and I literally can't keep up with life. I can't keep up with life so why do I keep waking up? I can't keep up and people are pulling me in all different directions you have to do this and that and you need to be here and there and I'm sick and all I want to do is rest but they'll have none of it. So if I can't rest and I can't get better because I need to rest for like a million years because I already rested and did nothing for two days and I don't feel any better so I don't understand why I don't just die then because obviously my body is taking too long trying to get better and is worthless because it won't hurry up and start acting right.

Please pray that God would touch me and heal me so I can work for Him. I am willing to do so much for God. I can't now because I'm so sick and I'm not getting better despite resting and I don't know why God would rather me be sick than helping advance His kingdom.