Prayers needed for direction and restoration of my faith. Things are changing I can see some good things have painfully emerged I think but I fear I'm going to mess it all up. Thank you for your prayers.

Prayer for the most excellent vacation and new years not hindered by covid please.

Looking for a place to vent and open channel for God to speak. I've taken some turns. I grew weary in doing good I guess. Overlooked. Waiting on God I got tired of waiting so many times for my season of blessing. The one thing i want is withheld. I get bitter and lonely idk how to surrender it. I want it so bad and i know God can do it in a second. Im watching everyone else get blessed like super blessed. I am happy for them but jealous too. Those i helped. The ones i feel like dont appreciate me. Idk I how bad I'm messing things up or prolonging my misery. My heart is heavy. I don't understand what's wrong with me or why I'm unlovable. I try so hard.. human understanding isn't enough. Nothing satisfies the longings of my heart. There's is only one way to go forward but I know I'm gonna mess it up over and over so what's the point. It's my birthday everything that could have went wrong seemed to. Little bad things kept happening all day. Woe is me, I know right. The truth is I have everything I need in this world physically. But none of it is worth anything without someone to share it with. I been begging God to fix things. Truth is I was feeling confident for the first time in ages and a girl came along. I know it was wrong and I had no intention of staying with her or being with her but I laid with her. I feel like I have been punished ever since. Ithe issues in my heart that I that were put to rest. My confidence my health my gym time my morals it's all bad now. Now I crave sin even more like its gonna fix my heart.. I know it was wrong I admit I apologized to the girl. My appetite is now roaring. She desired me then shut me out and somethig was taken from me in the process. I don't deserve grace but I'm begging for mercy. Begging for my discipline to end. None of the good I tried to do amounts to anything. Sowing and sowing good and reaping not.. But a few selfish decisions is a instant bad harvest. Its all my understanding so i cant lean on it... It just feels I'll never get ahead. I've lost my way. I feel like my efforts were pointless. I wish God would speak. Tell me it's all gonna be OK that there's nothing wrong with me. I wish I could belive it in my heart. I wish so many things.

I could definitely use prayer.

Thanks everyone for lifting me up in prayer. Jesus has restored me to good faith yet again. The woes of of purification have become peace again.

I ask you guys to lift me in prayer for confidence, courage, and personality. Fear and self rejections and insecurity plagues me. There's so much I need help with, that I fear I'll never get over or come to terms with. Fears I'm afraid to face. I know God's love casts out fear and I am supposed to stand in faith, but I am weak and weary. I pray too, and I know and believe God hears, so I am perplexed about asking for prayer. But thank you all for your time.

I need prayer again. Feeling overwhelmed, stuck afraid, anxious, of what I can't see, my limited faith and my shame of my shortcomings and resistance to what God is calling me into. It looks hopeless for me with my sight. Because I don't know when I'll take that step of faith. Because of the anger of disappointment. So many barriers. I feel like I'm gonna be walking through this wilderness until I break and I don't know if I will, in all honesty. I'm considering up and moving away a lot lately. Starting fresh and feigning ignorance. I'm torn. It's hard. Idk what to do. I am losing touch with what is real and what was just what I wanted to see. Without certainty I could be doing all this waiting for nothing. Idk how much longer I can hold on. How much time am I wasting, and wasting by what standard. I'm at a place where I think God is waiting on me to do what He wants and I am waiting on God to do what I want and we have poor communication so nothing is certain and everything is supposed to be faith and I ovwrthink everything and man doesn't have any of the answers and either God isn't speaking or I don't know how to listen and it's overwhelming and I want out.

Im can't take it anymore