I am really struggling with my depression today. I have had this depression for over 2 decades. Nothing really helps it. I have tried to seek God with all my soul and I still haven't found Him. I read that He doesn't lie and that there is no favoritism with Him and that He doesn't give us more than we can handle. But my depression is more than I can handle. I have cried out to Him daily. He knows my pain if He has noticed. I can't help but feel like He made me to ignore me. His promises never come to pass in my life and I've waited and waited and waited and waited and it never gets better or easier. Why does God like to ignore me? Why does He like to say He's good and that He doesn't have favorites and that He won't give anyone more than they can handle when it's a lie even though He says He doesn't lie? Why does God want to push me till I can't take it so He can send me to hell? Why can't He just be honest and tell me He made me to hurt me and send me to hell and that is why it's always been more than I can handle and that is why He doesn't step in because I was never meant to be healed?